How people write Leave Applications.
Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."
Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."
Leave-letter from an employee "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
From Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
An incident of a leave letter: "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."
Another email written to the HR: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
Letter writing:- "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
A candidate's job application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! ) for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Priceless words
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"
Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is
everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk - "PRICELESS "
There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"
Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is
everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk - "PRICELESS "
There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
How to mingle and interact with people
These days many people find it difficult to start a conversation with unfamiliar people in a ball room event or any other social situation.You may want to make an unmarried person or a recently divorced feel comfortable among the married couples at your home get-together. Or , you might see a stranger and realize that he/she maybe a suitable other half. You have the urge to go up and strike a conversation but simply do not know how.Here are a few tips that could be used.
1.A casual greeting – “hello” and simply exchange names .A handshake when the person responds to you is the most acceptable one but if you are in a foreign country , you need to follow the social norms there. If the person is already known to you and a techie you could ask questions to break the ice - “What do you think about the Google chrome?”. “Are you doing some upgrading courses?”. If these questions don’t suit the other person, try something general-Look around the walls and you will see some piece of art and ask whether they appreciate it? If it is female – maybe appreciate her handbag or her shoes. Don’t tell her she looks like “Cleopatra” or “Aishwarya Rai” – these days women are smart – they know you are lying and not sincere.
2. Smile and continue the conversation. Smile and listen to what the other person has to say , you could also offer an opinion. Don’t stare but maintain eye contact.
Remember non-verbal communication also contributes to an effective conversation.Groom your hair and nails and dress appropriately.Read the newspaper/books and watch TV because you need to know what is going on in the world.If you are shy you need to think on a few topics that you could talk on.Remember humour and funny quotes can lighten up spirits and increase participation.
If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, then you have been going on for too long or the person you are talking to is simply weird. Don’t waste time – look out to strike conversation with someone else.
1.A casual greeting – “hello” and simply exchange names .A handshake when the person responds to you is the most acceptable one but if you are in a foreign country , you need to follow the social norms there. If the person is already known to you and a techie you could ask questions to break the ice - “What do you think about the Google chrome?”. “Are you doing some upgrading courses?”. If these questions don’t suit the other person, try something general-Look around the walls and you will see some piece of art and ask whether they appreciate it? If it is female – maybe appreciate her handbag or her shoes. Don’t tell her she looks like “Cleopatra” or “Aishwarya Rai” – these days women are smart – they know you are lying and not sincere.
2. Smile and continue the conversation. Smile and listen to what the other person has to say , you could also offer an opinion. Don’t stare but maintain eye contact.
Remember non-verbal communication also contributes to an effective conversation.Groom your hair and nails and dress appropriately.Read the newspaper/books and watch TV because you need to know what is going on in the world.If you are shy you need to think on a few topics that you could talk on.Remember humour and funny quotes can lighten up spirits and increase participation.
If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, then you have been going on for too long or the person you are talking to is simply weird. Don’t waste time – look out to strike conversation with someone else.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
What gender is a computer?
Unlike the English language, French nouns are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine explained the French teacher.
‘House’, in French, is feminine – ‘la maison.’
‘Pencil’, in French, is masculine – ‘le crayon.’
Puzzled, one student raised his hand-”What gender is a computer?”
The teacher wasn’t certain, she divided the class into two groups to decide if the computer should be masculine or feminine for the class exercise. One group was comprised of the women in the class and the other of men. Both groups had to give four reasons for their recommendation.
Women's Group said – “le computer”
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
Men's Group said -- “la computer”
No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you spend half your pay on accessories.
Should it be ‘le computer’ or ‘la computer’?
Monday, September 8, 2008
Onam-A unique festival
It has its origins in Hindu mythology but “Onam” is celebrated by the wealthy and the poor irrespective of being a Hindu, Muslim or a Christian in Kerala. The ten-day Onam festival falls in August-September and signifies the beginning of the harvest season.
According to the legend, the gods plotted against Mahabli, the king – they wanted an end to his reign. They send Vishnu, the Hindu god as a dwarf Brahmin, Vamanan. He went to Mahabali and asked him for three steps of land. After his wish was granted he covered the whole land with his two steps and asked the king where to place the third step. To keep his word, the king offered his head. Vamanan pushed the king down into the earth. Pleased with his honesty the king was granted a wish in return that he could come and visit his land and the people every year on a particular day. On the day of Onam, people of Kerala join together to welcome back their vanquished king.
"Athappookkalam", a floral carpet is a symbolic gesture to welcome Mahabali.
Keralites prepare and serve a sumptuous meal on a plantain leaf along with the traditional kheer called “payasam”. It just reflects the Keralite's taste for all the beautiful things of life. The whole state comes alive with festivity and activity.
One of the main attractions of Onam, is the 'Vallamkali' or boat races of Aranmula. The oarsmen row traditional boats to the rhythm of drums and cymbals. It is the best time of the year to visit Kerala, God’s own country which comes alive with elephant processions, classical and folk dance performances in its lush greenery and experience the tranquil of mind. Having lived in many parts of India and abroad, the “Onam” festival brings back childhood memories of the unique spirit of celebration.
The “avial” that we had for last Sunday’s lunch at the restaurant was simply delicious and left me craving for another Onam lunch – aaaah but I need to watch the amount of cholesterol build-up with all the coconut.
According to the legend, the gods plotted against Mahabli, the king – they wanted an end to his reign. They send Vishnu, the Hindu god as a dwarf Brahmin, Vamanan. He went to Mahabali and asked him for three steps of land. After his wish was granted he covered the whole land with his two steps and asked the king where to place the third step. To keep his word, the king offered his head. Vamanan pushed the king down into the earth. Pleased with his honesty the king was granted a wish in return that he could come and visit his land and the people every year on a particular day. On the day of Onam, people of Kerala join together to welcome back their vanquished king.
"Athappookkalam", a floral carpet is a symbolic gesture to welcome Mahabali.
Keralites prepare and serve a sumptuous meal on a plantain leaf along with the traditional kheer called “payasam”. It just reflects the Keralite's taste for all the beautiful things of life. The whole state comes alive with festivity and activity.
One of the main attractions of Onam, is the 'Vallamkali' or boat races of Aranmula. The oarsmen row traditional boats to the rhythm of drums and cymbals. It is the best time of the year to visit Kerala, God’s own country which comes alive with elephant processions, classical and folk dance performances in its lush greenery and experience the tranquil of mind. Having lived in many parts of India and abroad, the “Onam” festival brings back childhood memories of the unique spirit of celebration.
The “avial” that we had for last Sunday’s lunch at the restaurant was simply delicious and left me craving for another Onam lunch – aaaah but I need to watch the amount of cholesterol build-up with all the coconut.
It sometimes make me wonder why the Indian government doesn't tap the season's tourist potential when the Kovalam beach and Thekkady is so popular in the west.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Water or Whiskey
A professor wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he carried out an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson have you learnt from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently,
"Drink whiskey and you won't get worms.
"Now, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson have you learnt from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently,
"Drink whiskey and you won't get worms.
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