Stock Market Humour

In the midst of the financial tsunami hitting many countries, the stock markets have become the butt of jokes. Here are some classic “desi” ones.

"Bankrupt allowed to return to their native place without ticket - (Railway Minister) Lalu Prasad," goes one SMS joke.

Other 'jokes' border on being stupid: "Good time to invest in stocks of Rupa Frontline, VIP underwear, Jockey briefs etc. 'Sab ki chaddi uter gayi' (everyone has lost their briefs). So, everyone will buy a new one."
A joke about Finance Minister P Chidambaram announcing a decision to treat all losses in the market as tax deducted at source.

Another jester came up with this spoof on the Ambanis, whose group companies usually drive the market: "Latest blockbuster movie 'Saare Zameen Par' - premiere on BSE and NSE directed, produced and acted by Ambani brothers."

A fun email circulating trading desks, worth a chuckle, as well as an informal measure of sentiment:
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL: Beast in a field that attempts to screw anything
BEAR: Beast in the woods with a bad temper that attempts to screw anything
BULL MARKET: A random upward market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER: What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Current Status of the market

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10.The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50."The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!
Welcome to the "Stock" Market!!!!!